i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
