After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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