He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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