U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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