the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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