its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
