Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have already put on my inside pants.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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