i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
