left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
