I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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