I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
