At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
