im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
