I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
