Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
