Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
