ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
