I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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