I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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