I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
