Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
