I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
tell me about the fingering
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