the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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