no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
