So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
