A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
