He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
