Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
