My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
