Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
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