I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
