47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
