omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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