I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
