Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
