Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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