"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
