Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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