I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
