'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
