Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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