can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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