Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
