Small penises have feelings too.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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