pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
