This is not my ceiling
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
