tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
birth control should be required to get into college
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
