i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
