Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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