Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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