Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
